You know how they say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important.

I don't understand myself sometimes really.

I honestly have no interest in dating Shell right now. All I really want is for her to realize that I'm one of those people she described, that she sees me as one of those people that she says she can always trust and count on and who would never betray her.

Yet I get jealous. Why?

I know I get jealous when it comes to Angel and some other people too. I mean, with them it's a "damn i want to be the center of attention" kind of jealousy. With Shelley it just...feels more complicated than that.

I don't get it. How can I not want to date her right now and still get so jealous over the attention she's giving another guy? I don't think I'll figure that one out anytime soon.

All I know is I like talking to her a lot lately, so I'm going to keep doing it and hope she feels the same about talking to me. I'm glad my hearts not in my throat anymore when talking to her. Maybe it's because I stopped caring so much about saying the right thing or getting her back. Maybe it's because she's more like the old Shelley, without the frost that I've seen for the past however long. Who knows.

I know she's still struggling with trusting and opening up to me, but at least I feel like I've got someone I can open up to and complain to =P