Thoughts of the day

I know I haven't posted in a long time...partly because someone else managed to get the domain name for the longest time...but it just feel like one of those days I might as well post and say stuff since I don't really have anyone worthwile to talk to.

People suck anyway, everybody lies, and you really can't trust anyone anyway.
When you trust people you either just get burned or they go and die on you, so there's really no point in doing so.

Truthfully though...at this point I don't know what to do about a lot of things and it's driving me insane. (Not literally. And it pisses me off when people say that about me literally.) I feel lost and like the one person that really matters to me...isn't there for me. I don't blame her for it though, she's got her own life and she feels how she feels and I can't impose on her life, I can't blame her for that. I just wish I could call her and talk. 

Everything sorta feels surreal now, not sure when it started. I know this'll all end soon...just not sure how it should. Still need to figure that out.

I guess there's really not much else I feel like typing at this point. I'm going to sleep I guess. Bleh, it's annoying, thank god for sleeping pills. Damn bodys gettin used to them too I guess. Sucks.

Yeah, I know I'm awesome...

Friggen five year olds....

28

Oh my god, I'm never moving to France

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/5753.php

Wow, tell me how much that sucks for them...I can't imagine life without my ridiculous amounts of unhealthy caffeine that i'm addicted to...

No, I don't have a problem....shut up...

Okay, so I thought about some things last night after talking to a couple of people.

Today I'll be heading to school to try to attempt to get myself back into the classes I withdrew from. I don't know how well that'll go, but as I was once told by someone, I can talk my way into or out of anything, so maybe I can get back in with some tongue twisting. (No, not that kind of tongue twisting you sick one track minded people...)

I still have no idea about a lot of things. I don't know what I want to do. And to be honest, if it was just myself I had to worry about, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. I know I thought about doing marketing or something similar for a while, but that's just not my seen. I need something where I actually feel like I'm doing something productive, where I'm making a difference. Not something just for money.

But money is a problem for a lot of reasons. I'm a very non materialistic person. Sure I like buying things to a degree, but overall, money and material things aren't very high on my list and I appreciate other things a lot more. But something that really complicates things and worries me is that whatever profession I wind up going into, I won't be making bunches of money most likely. No, I'm not worried for myself, I'm worried because I don't think I'm going to be making the kind of money to afford the things she deserves in life. In whatever I go into, I just don't think I'm going to be able to afford to give her everything she deserves. Thinking about it makes me sad and worried and question what I should do so I can afford the things she deserves...and it just complicates things more.

Let alone I still need to figure out something to do about the distance eventually which is something else that complicates my life. No, I'm not rushing things, or pressuring things, or pushing anything. It's just eventually I'm going to have to move across country if I even want there to be a minuscule chance, probably sooner rather than later as time is running out because I need to move out come the summer.

Off to watch TV for a little bit now. Be back later.

Today was a very strange day.
I'm not even sure why it was so strange...The day just felt very off...I felt off.

However I was watching CSI before and did make a realization about something...
I did make $100 today which was woohoo at least.

Worst day. Ever.

So yeah, I've pretty much come to realize there are only three reasons I post on this thing:

1) Because something's on my mind and I have no one to say it to.
2) Because I'm posting to get the attention of one of the fifteen or so of you who actually read this.
or 3) Because I get bored out of my mind and need to procrastinate doing this terrible thing called homework or this even worse thing called paperwork.

10:01 and this night is gone. I spent it ill while the world moves on.

I wanna sleep but there are nightmares when I try =/.

The cost of textbooks is wayyyyyyyyyy overpriced. It's ridiculous. It's absurd. It's preposterous.

I can't believe I spent over 500$ on textbooks today. I know it happens every semester, but ever semester I'm amazed at how overpriced they are.

AND I BUY USED!!

I guess I should be thankful...when I was at that other school this fall, I would have wound up paying 700$ for books...

-sigh- Why do things need to be so expensive?

I seriously can't believe I just dragged myself out of bed for this...
Ugh...

Thank god I have hot pockets and wired though...